Football

Australians like their sports. When the cold season comes around, when they have to wear a jumper (sweater, cardigan), football becomes the main sport. There are four types – soccer (they have the same rules as we do), rugby union, rugby league and Australian rules.

Rugby union is a game where the objective is to keep the ball alive even though you may be tackled. When tackled you fall to the ground (obviously) and then try to place the ball in such a position that your team can ruck the ball back to regain possession while you try to cover up so they don’t ruck your head instead. Rucking is the action of moving the ball backwards by scraping it with your football boots which I may add have tags (little metal or hard plastic rounded spikes under the boot). Many players from both sides participate in rucks and the guy on the bottom has little protection, a box for the crown jewels (see Language post) and a leather head guard (optional) to protect your ears from getting ripped off. In rugby union you also have scrums sometimes but more often line outs when the ball goes out of bounds. The scrums are more or less like an organized ruck. Players face each other in lines in a line out. The ball is thrown in from the sidelines and players jump up and try to knock the ball down to their team. Confusing? You’re damn right it is. That’s why we have rugby league.

There are no rucks or line outs in rugby league. Each team has six attempts to move the ball down field. The ball is passed backwards or in a line but never forwards. After six attempts there is a scrum and the six attempts starts again. The players wear the same gear as for rugby union and play 2 forty minute halves with no breaks and with few substitutes.

If rugby league is not tiring enough then you can try Australian rules where there are four 25 minute quarters. The objective of this game, often called aerial ping pong, is to kick the ball between two centre posts for a goal (six points). If you miss you can score a behind (one point) delineated by another set of posts on each side of the centre posts. You can pass the ball by hand forwards or backwards but the best way is to pass by kicking the ball. Note an Australian rules ground is as big as cricket ground (see Cricket post). Tackling is allowed if you enough energy and speed to grab someone with the ball. Australian rules is very popular in Melbourne where crowds over 60,000 are not uncommon at the Melbourne Cricket Ground.

Watching the footy on the telly was one of our favourite night time activities. Actually we didn’t have too much choice. With four types of football and a sports-mad nation there was little else on TV.